And just like that, life shifts into a completely different gear.
As I was making supper, the phone rang. And to my surprise it was the surgical co-ordinator from the heart clinic. I was not expecting this phone call, so it hit me pretty hard.
Nate's heart surgery has been scheduled and we leave for Edmonton next week Thursday.
Wow. We were thinking June....maybe. This just came out of the blue. Every single bit of me wants anything BUT surgery for my little Nate. I remember walking through The Stollery when we were there in January for Nate's MRI, and thinking 'I do not want to come back here. I will not come back here. I can not bring Nate back here for surgery'. Good attitude, hey?
But now we're going through the motions. Thinking about making arrangements for Brady while we're gone, getting the time off from both our jobs - and thankful for such understanding employers, thinking about what to pack - all of the necessities for keeping our 'strong-willed but still so apprehensive and attached' Nate happy, occupied, and distracted with toys and surprises....which will hopefully bring him some enjoyment and serve as a bit of a consolation for everything he will have to endure.
But the kicker is this: The boy who has been asking when is birthday will come for about 4 months already, and who in the last week has started a numbered countdown to April 30th, will most likely spend his 5th birthday in the hospital. That makes me sad. And that's after the sadness that I feel about what he'll endure in general.
The surgery that they plan is not finalized as yet. Options are the Double Switch or valve replacement, and biventricular pacemaker. We plan to discuss the options next Thursday with our cardiologist in Winnipeg, and then on Friday at our PreAdmission Clinic at The Stollery in Edmonton, when we will also meet with our surgeon, Dr. Rebeyka.
I am telling myself that it will not and can not be as bad as the last time. If you remember back 3 years ago....it was pretty bad. In some ways, I feel better prepared this time around. In other ways, because I know a lot more of what is coming up, it makes it harder.
Since this news is rather new to us, emotions are rather raw. I'm sure that in the coming days we will feel more prepared emotionally and mentally. We need wisdom in knowing when and how to tell Nate about what is coming up. And how much information to give him.
Even though emotions get in the way sometimes, I am assured of God's plan, His love and His care over Nate and all of us. He gives us so many promises through the Bible - words that can soothe and encourage even the most hurting hearts. And I know there are so many people who are supporting us through their love and prayers. Those prayers are essential and we can't thank you all enough for them. We know He can do great things, and we pray for great healing for Nate. We know God can do the impossible. Thank you for joining us in prayer.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21