In 8 days we'll be going back to see Nate's cardiologist in Winnipeg. I'm feeling a little scared and nervous about this appointment. And the fact that I'm feeling scared about it makes me a little mad...mad because those emotions show lack of faith. Fear and faith....to me, those are opposities.
I've also been trying to understand prayer more fully. Family and friends have given me deeper insight into prayer, and I'm so thankful for that. In my mind, however, I often drift to topics of prayer and how it relates to predestination, free will, etc. (also reminds me of a 'small group' discussion from last year....good discussion but still so confusing!). So, in times like those, I just keep praying and talking to God, because when it comes down to it, dialogue is what God really wants with us.
Two nights ago, I was snuggling with Nate, helping him to fall asleep. After he was peacefully sleeping, (and since I was so cozy too) I stayed there and again prayed. I prayed the God would just take this heart condition from him. I pleaded. At that moment I realized that Jesus had uttered those exact words when He was on the cross, and understood me better than I knew. He pleaded with His Father, to take this cup - His death on the cross - from Him. But then said - Not My will, but Yours be done.
Right then, I felt such comfort. Knowing that Jesus had asked the same thing of His Father, that I was asking of my Heavenly Father. It gave me peace.
So, you can pray for us as a family, and especially for Nate. Pray for his heart.
We're so thankful for the prayer, love and support that each one of you have shown to us! Thank you!
In other news - Nate has been taking a few steps! Yippee! I guess he (and probably his mommy) was feeling the pressure to measure up to Brady's walking accomplishment at 8 1/2 months!! Also, in honor of the Super Bowl, here's our little guy showing us his 'Touch Down'!