Departure

Some days, you just need a good laugh.  A 'departure' if you will, from the stress or burdens of everyday.  When I read this, I got a good chuckle, so I'm passing it on to you.  (I am SO not a forward-er, so this is a bit out of character for me, but if it brightens your day, I'll say it's worth it!)

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YA SURE, YA BETCHA, DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT OP IN MANITOBA, SKATCHEWAN, ALBERTA, B.C. AND ONTARIO.....TRY IT, YOU VILL LIKE IT!!

 

 If you are traveling soon, consider Manno ir, da no-frills airline.  You're all in da same boat on Manno Air, vhere flying is an oplifting experience.  Der is no First Class on any Manno Air flight. Meals are potlock. Rows 1-6,  bring rolls, 7-15 bring a salad, 16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert.  Basses and tanors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is  responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freevill offering  and da plane vill not land until da budget is met. Pay attantion to your  flaight attandant, who vill acqvuaint you vith da safety system aboard dis Manno Air 599.

 

 Okay den, listen op: I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da evant of a sodden  loss of cabin prassure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill  Captain Schmat because ve fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of cabin prassure vould probably indicate da Second Coming or something  of dat nature, and I vouldn't bother with dose little masks on da robber  tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry abaut den dat. Joss stuff  dose back op in der little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of  turbulance vhich, to be honest vith ya, ve're going to have quite a bit of  at 2000 feet...sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a vhile ya gat used to it.

 

 In da event of a vater landing, I'd say forgat it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and yust vench dat you gat to da part about forgive us our sins as ve forgive dose who sin aganst us, vhich some people say "trespas against us," vhich isn't right, but vat can ya do?

 

 Da use of cell phones on da plane is aver forbidden, not because dey may interfere vith the plane's navigational system, vhich is seat of da pants all da vay... no, it's because cell phones are a pain in the morsh and if  God mant you to use a cell phone, He vould have put your mouth on da side of  your had. Ve're going to start launch right about dinner taime and it's boffet style vith the coffee pot op front. Den ve have da hymn sing... hymnals in da seat  pocket in front of you. Don't take yours vith you vhen ya go or I am going  to be real opsat and I am not kidding abaut dat.

 

 Right now I'll say Grace..."Come Lord Jesus be our gast and let dese gifts  to us be blast. Father, Son and Holy Ghost, may ve land in Toronto or  pretty close. Aman".