Saturday, September 27, 2008

That was hard!

I didn't really see this one coming!!  Me and my little guys went for a walk this morning to our local pharmacy.  After spending about 20 talking with the pharmacist, I left with Nate's Rx and the knowledge that it was time to start with this new regime.  It was a long walk home....Brady's Smarties falling on the sidewalk led to several sit down/lie down times on the way home.  Yes, that 2 1/2 year old lying down on the sidewalk crying was mine!!
Once home, I wanted to get a base line pulse for Nate so I would have something to compare it to for the next 3 days until we get his blood pressure checked.  That didn't go well.  It's pretty challenging!
Then came the hard part.  And I started to bawl.  It's not that I was so scared of this drug and what it would do, but more that this was the first time that I've had to actively do something to/for Nate as a result of his condition.  Kind of like admitting that this actually was real and was happening.  Of course add to that the worry of any possible complications, and you've got a mommy who really doesn't want to give her son his meds.  After a quick call to Don, to get some encouragement, I did it.  And prayed.
I almost had to call 'my person', but then this happened.  I'm holding my Nate and cuddling him and crying.  Then I pull him back just to look at him and he gives me this goofy little smile.
That's what I call perspective!
You know, I'm glad this was hard.
If it wasn't, I'd have to wonder.


Michele said...

Hey Beautiful,
"Your person" would have come RUNNING!!!!if you had just called! Glad you could muster up the courage to do what needed to be done. Nate is SO blessed to have a mommy like you! Have a great little get-away to Grand Forks tomorrow! Love ya! Michele

Anonymous said...

Hey...anytime you need anything, give a quick call. I know I don't totally understand all the emotions that are going on with all this, but I am always willing to listen! Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Bonnie Hildebrand said...

I thot of you as I read this last night. Just like mom always does in her Bible, I put your names beside this verse to claim it as your promise. "May the GOD OF HOPE fill you with all JOY and PEACE as you TRUST in him, so that you may OVERFLOW WITH HOPE by the POWER of the Holy Spirit."
I love ya! Bonnie